The dislocated soil

On June, 25, 2008, I visited Toronto for the first time. Lots of contradicting feelings were occupying my heart because at that time and although I had read lots about Toronto before going there and the image that was constructed in my mind about the place was very shiny and positive but knowing previously that this would be my next home / land for at least the next 4-5 years was something still scaring me somehow!

The ‘Cardiff / Welsh’ soil small bag was in my backpack all the time since the moment I left Cardiff heading to Toronto. As you know, I was planning to throw the soil there but I was waiting for the suitable moment or to find the suitable place for that. I passed by many interesting places and have been to many beautiful parks which are of course full of soil. I visited different beaches there and even thought of grabbing some sand for Ania but in spite of all that I just couldn’t throw the soil. Maybe all the previous places were suitable to place the soil in but none of them made me feel connected to it. It is all about my feelings here. My trip was amazing and my impression after spending 20 days in Toronto was extremely positive but I didn’t feel at all that that was my home. Yes I was still feeling that it would be my home but it is still not. That prevented me from placing the soil in Toronto this time. It was something very easy to do but I just didn’t want to. I will absolutely do it when I build up a more stable relationship with the place / my new home and feel like yes this is my home now!